#freaky food

[nouverx]

"I want to eat you" is their love language and you can't change my mind

[fiercerthanyou]

Cindy Wright, "Bacon Cube 3, 2005,

Oil on canvas,

78¾ h × 76¾ w in (200 × 195 cm)

[woahjo]

I think tendou likes being called babygirl

reading this literally felt the same way i imagine it feels to have the devil knock at your door. i feel like frollo when he sees esmeralda in the flames because you’re soooo fucking right. i’m so sorry for what i’m about to become here and in the tags.

cw: petnames, groping, i mention and oedipus complex at the end, teasing (ofc), i really don’t know how to tag for this just know i’m thinking weird thoughts and i wanted to give u a warning. the tags are weirder.

i feel like at first it starts as a little joke between the two of you, but quickly spirals into tension filled teasing. you call him babygirl and he leans in real close to you and grins this sleepy, lust-drunk grin and goes “yes?” because it’s weird and he’s REALLLY into it.

he knows it gets you going when he responds to it and it’s something of a pet name, but for some reason he weaponizes it a little bit.

“how’s my babygirl today?”

“mmm hungry..” he smiles a sly grin. satori puts his hands on your hips and draws you close to his sitting figure. he rests his hands on your hips so that his face is positioned just below your chest. “i could eat you up.”

“i should be saying that to you,” you huff as he presses his mouth to your fleshy stomach.

“maybe,” he says but it’s clear his interests are elsewhere as his hand creeps up to cup your breast. “got something for me?”

your reply is breathy. “if you’re hungry, cook.”

“not that kind of hungry…” he hums quietly. “not gonna take care of me?” he presses his face into your clothed breast. “mean.”

you run your hands through his spiky red hair, tilting your head back as he looks at you over the swell of your chest with glassy, teasing eyes.

“you’re a big baby.”

“yup,” he pops his p and presses his mouth to your nipple through your shirt. “you smell good.”

you sigh as he palms at your chest as waist, mouthing at the fabric of your shirt. satori closes his eyes momentarily, furrowing his small eyebrows. his hands are so big on you, grabbing slowly and pinching at the fat on your sides.

“satori…” you gasp quietly.

“who?”

when you open your eyes, he’s smirking at you with his head tilted up, his mouth still half pressed to your chest.

“babygirl,” you breathe, despite the heat that rises to your face.

“yeah, that’s it,” he says lightly, giving you that weird signature smile he seems to adopt when you play along.

anyway……….. i think he’s oedipus complex weird. and i think he plays up on the discomfort of it. it gets him off.

[stefisdoingthings]

freakposting :3

[rwby-confess]

Confession #426

[alizera62quartz]

🍂🌽🤡Happy Thanksgiving~🤡🌽🍂

[my-catsface]

Cat’s Mac and Parasite Water Recipe (Experience)

Hello. I’m cat. Welcome back to my first addition of fucked up food recipes.

I have quite a history of doing stuff like this, and unfortunately I never learn my lesson. That being said, let’s get to it.

Fair warning: this comes with pictures. While none of them are inherently bad there are some of these that you could look at and go “yeah I would actually throw up if I didn’t know what that was” so be warned this isn’t just a food crime it’s a gross food crime.

I used chocolate almond milk because I’m lactose intolerant and I’m using Mac and cheese because I don’t really give a fuck about that.

The sprite is there because chocolate sprilk is one of my favorite drinks (I cannot recommend it to anyone even if my heart was full of malice), so the thought came to me. Why not try chocolate sprilk Mac and cheese?

Milk makes Mac and cheese creamier, and who knows what the sprite would do! So it’s an experiment.

I decided to start the dish with chocolate milk instead of water, filling THAT to the line.

I could have definitely added sprite in at this stage, but honestly I wasn’t sure if carbonation would act right in the microwave, and I figured I could always try it different another time. I also thought maybe warm sprite would be the worse alternative to “lukewarm sprite mixed with warm milk” but I’m making a dish i called Mac and Parasite Water so what do I know.

Big mistake I didn’t account for. You can’t just put chocolate milk into the microwave for three and a half minutes. Apparently it rises and overflows. Anyone with even a shred of common sense may have anticipated this, but I am not a smart person (I’m making this dish after all).

What I ended up doing from here was watching the microwave and deciding to open it if it overflowed again. Most of it was done spilling out so I let it continue for about a minute and a half and took it out at the end (cleaned the microwave after).

I will say this was probably one of the peaks to this little project of madness. The smell? The smell in my room was SO good. Go figure warm chocolate would smell good but NO. No this was beautiful. Amazing. It just reinforced that what I was doing was good and just, and in that sense it was a siren.

Anyway from here I just sort of mixed the Mac and cheese around and let it take in the chocolate milk. Still emboldened by the smell of warm chocolate, I thought to continue.

Here I did actually do a little taste test just because I was curious, and honestly it was a little underwhelming.

The best way I can describe it is like… processed something. There was some richness to it with the chocolate, sure, but it really was just still processed noodles. It’s like if you rolled honey into playdough until it was a jam (if you squint) and spread that out on wheat bread. That’s kind of what it tasted like and I would know because that’s also something I’ve done.

At this point… I added the cheese.

Now. The first thought that struck me when I was done mixing it was “god damn this looks awful.” The second thought that struck me was “you know, this place actually feeds me if I really want food.” My final thought was “I wonder what the cheese will look like.” The answer?

UNHOLY MUCUS. Not the most unappetizing looking thing I’ve ever eaten but GOD DAMN it was CLOSE!! It was certainly CLOSE.

There’s many words that would be good here. Goo. Sludge. Goop. Muck. Grime. The word I will choose to use is “slime” because it strikes close to my heart.

I was in too deep. My smoke was too tough. If I didn’t eat this, They’d kill me. So I took a bite.

I say this with no ounce of exaggeration: It was GOOD. It was REALLY GOOD. The milk almost entirely covered up all the processed part of the cheese, and the cheese itself covered up the weird processed flavor of the noodles. The texture was absolutely top notch, too.

I would genuinely, GENUINELY, eat this again. In fact, I took three whole taste test bites as opposed to the singular one I was planning to take. It was so good I was almost worried about continuing with adding sprite. But I’m not one to back down from a challenge nobody imposed upon me, so I trudged on.

I added the sprite.

I added the sprite up to the top of the Mac and cheese itself and suddenly my meal was very… very angry at me. I almost apologized to it, but it would have been hollow. But I didn’t feel anything. If meals can be made with love, this meal was not made with that. It wasn’t made with hate, though. No. This meal was made with morbid curiosity. This meal was made with divine hubris. I knew before I took a single bite that I had poisoned my ambrosia.

I wanted to discard it, to cast it away. It would be my monster and I it’s Frankenstein. Alternatively it would be my ai daughter thing and I it’s Ayin Lobotomy Corporation. But I’m not a fan of waste so I continued. I took a bite.

The taste? The taste was… bad. It was awful. I couldn’t even believe it was the same dish. It was like an acidic pond. The sprite overpowered both flavors and took the reins, beating the cheese and the milk into submission for its dominance. I took a bite and it tasted like penitence for all the sins I haven’t yet made. If there is a God, then there is his devil. And if there is a devil, this is what he eats. I have experienced a great fall from the light, and I wish nothing more than to be allowed to climb up and embrace it again.

I wanted to pray. But I knew mercy had closed its ears and wailed.

Once I ate the rest of the noodles I was suddenly made aware of my newest problem. The broth. As the milk and cheese mostly stuck to the noodles themselves, I was getting mostly noodles, cheese, milk, and whatever sprite my spoon picked up. That meant that for the most part my meal really was just the noodles.

No longer.

Now I was left with the reason this dish has gained its name. Look upon my next picture with horror, I beg of you.

The remnant powder of the cheese was just… left there. Sitting. Sitting in a bowl of chocolate milk and sprite and tears. I realized I had to drink this. I looked at the same thing you’re looking at now and I realized I needed to DRINK that.

Thats about when the meal got its name. Gazing at my unlovable child I decided then and there that it looked like it would give me horrible unthinkable internal parasites. That’s what the little spots of cheese reminded me of. (Another contender was mold brew!) But I don’t like to waste things. I needed to drink it.

So I did. I took the cup, pinched it in on itself to make two points, and lifted one to my lips. I raised the cup up quickly, just desperate to get it over with.

In it went. Almost smoothly. And what did it taste like?

Nothing.

Even water has a taste. Even chocolate sprilk itself has A Taste. This thing? The parasite water itself? No taste. Nothing there. It was almost… disappointing. I even swished it around in my mouth for a bit to try and get SOMETHING. But it was for naught.

My meal ended. It experienced life and death the same way that I would, and yet I think myself better than it.

Nyaaa~ time for the ending notes!

Wow that meal certainly Was! For anyone who wants to make this I would honestly recommend losing the sprite part of it and just making chocolate Mac and cheese.

It was honestly really good at that point and I’d say it was a really big highlight! SO.

If you make this forget the sprite, and ALSO either use less milk in the microwave or monitor it more closely than I did so that you don’t have any spillage (or do exactly what I did and just be ready for some paper towels.

[natureisthegreatestartist]

Did you know there's such a thing as a snow leopard melon? No claws. No teeth. Looks like art and tastes like a honeydew melon.

[umekawa-eve]

I didn't expect Messmer to be wearing this

so 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂

I don't know why my Tarnished is so oily.

[killc0mmand]

Food items featured at the Namja Town Danganronpa attraction in Ikebukuro, Tokyo. I want to eat them all

[bakageyama-s]

Kabru 🤝🏽 FE3H Claude

You agree?

[imp-thing]

WHY DOES HE LOOK AT THE VIEWER LIKE THAT IN THIS SPRITE???? FREAKY ASS BALLPLAYER

[odinsblog]

midnight snack: food chain edition

[ilovecryoffearsm]

p30pl3 k3ep t@lk!ing wh3n I d0nt g!ve a shizz or a funk

[annabearsden]

I let the impulsive thoughts win and bathed tik tacks in Serra mist.

[clown-around-and-find-out]

moodboard of shit i constantly quote which results in nobody ever knowing what the hell im talking about